Many people have asked us questions about the
adoption. This page is an attempt to answer those questions.
Isaiah 1:17 "Learn to do what is right! Seek
justice, encourage the oppressed, defend the cause of the fatherless,
plead the case of the widow and the orphan"
Why Adopt?
Why Ethiopia?
What agency did you choose?
How long did the process take?
Was the process expensive?
What happened in your girls' lives
that brought them to the orphanage?
Will the girls know any English?
Adoption and Attachment
What does
your family think about your adoption decision?
Why Adopt?
Steve and I enjoy parenting. We can't imagine
our lives without children in them. We want to serve Christ and society
through our gifts and feel like adoption is one way to match our
strengths with the needs of others.
Why Ethiopia?
We explored several different countries
before settling on Ethiopia. We attended a two-day workshop centered on
adopting from China. We briefly looked at domestic adoption. We were
familiar with the need for adoptive parents in Africa through Uncle Ron
and Aunt Lynn's work in a South African orphanage. Although South Africa
is a long ways from Ethiopia, many of the same social conditions that
make children available for adoption in South Africa are also at work in
Ethiopia. Our social worker had worked with the Ethiopian program
before. Some folks we knew from work had adopted their beautiful
daughter, Mari from Ethiopia. We decided that Ethiopia was the right
program for us.
What agency did you choose?
We chose Lutheran Family Services of Iowa for our
home study. Our social worker was really good and lots of fun! I had
served on the board at Bethany Christian Services and I know they do
wonderful work as well. I would definitely recommend either agency.
Lutheran Family Services of Iowa is a partner to the adoption agency we chose.
Children's Home Society and Family Services (CHSFS) is based in
Minneapolis. They have been great to work with.
How long did the process take?
We attended an adoption workshop on November
of 2005. Our social worker came for the first home visit in January of
2006. We turned in our final paperwork in July and received the referral
for Shaya and Megan early in September. We are hoping to travel to
Ethiopia sometime before Thanksgiving.
Was the process expensive?
Adoption is a financial commitment. However,
there are federal tax incentives for adoption, and this will help on our
tax bill for the next five years. If you are interested in adoption and
would like to know specifics on how much things cost and how it breaks
down, let us know. We can help you look at the costs and how it can be
done. Whenever we think about the costs, we like to remember that we're
laying up our treasures in Heaven!
What happened in your girls' lives
that brought them to the orphanage?
Our agency, CHSFS has informed us of as much
of the girls' story as possible. However, they also advise us to share
that story very carefully. The girls have had sadness and grief in their
life. They also had first parents who loved them and decided that this
was the only path for their family. That story belongs to the girls.
Eventually, they may want to share their story. In the meantime, we will
try not to share. (Please remind us of that, if our words flow too
freely!)
Will the girls know any English?
Shaya is four. She speaks Amharic, her native
language. Since we don't know any Amharic, we may have some difficult
days ahead! We can hardly imagine how terrifying it will be for Shaya
and Megan to come with us. They will leave everything familiar behind
them, including their language. I can't imagine what they will think
when we step into the cold, Iowa winter! Please pray for them and their
adjustment to us as their parents. Pray also that Shaya learn English
quickly!
Adoption and Attachment
We plan to continue to learn about attachment
and the adoption process over the next weeks before our trip. We know we
will have to attempt to keep the girls' world a bit small over the first
few weeks of their adjustment to our family. It is best if the parents
hold the children most of the time. If we seem rather protective when
they come home, it is only to promote the healthy development of
attachment for both parent and child. We have a bit of a haphazard, wild home life. It might be difficult for us to slow down a bit. It is
probably good they are coming home in the winter! It is always nice to
curl up and stay home when it is cold out.
What does
your family think about your adoption decision?
Our kids
were very supportive from the first time we discussed adoption. Emma
has been especially excited! She loves kids! Paul and Joe have both
spent time out of the country. Paul went to Moldova and Romania and
worked with kids in orphanages as part of a mission trip. Joe spent
last summer in Ecuador. They both developed a real heart for culture
and service. Both have spent much time with kids. Thomas was very
excited until….he learned about the gender! He is still unconvinced
that girls were what God meant when he added to our family!
We had a
very meaningful family time the night we accepted the referral for the
girls. We held hands at the Pizza Ranch and prayed over and blessed
the girls. Steve asked each child whether they were ready to accept
Shaya and Megan as part of our forever family. Each of our children
replied that we should sign and welcome them. We did so together,
humbly asking God to bless our new family.
